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Huge White Rip Hamilton / Academic All-American Legend

It had been too long since the EPL rankings had been updated, and at this point in the sports calendar, College Hoops have not only taken the spotlight, but even have reached a point where you can actually figure out who’s good. It’s time for the inaugural College Hoops Rankings.

Let’s do the Soccer First:

1. Chelsea F.C. – Far from dominant in form, but 4 points clear at the top of the table… and Didier Drogba back from the African Cup.

2. The Manchester United Football Club – Wayne Rooney isn’t arguably the best player in the world right now; he IS the best player in the world right now, but the team has major defensive issues.

3. “The Gunners” – Despite the Champions League Leg 1 blooper video, they have a really easy remaining EPL schedule and are within striking distance.

4. Man City – Tied for fourth with a game in hand, you gotta think a team with this much talent is the favorite to get the 4th Champions League birth. Even the ugly 0-0 Draw with Liverpool was encouraging – the team actually played defense.

5. “Villans” – Maligned for “long balling” (playing boring soccer), you can’t help but face the facts: This team gives up less than one goal per game and features loads of dynamic and “pacey” young offensive talent.

6. Liverpool – The return of Torres and Benayoun is encouraging, but this team sort of feels like the Redskins of the EPL – some great players, some mediocre players, 0 Chemistry.

Why didn't his parents get Crouchie into Basketball?

7. “Spurs” – (Note: You can’t call them “The Spurs” apparently) A team with this much talent shouldn’t be losing to Wolves, but they are as “in the hunt” for the 4 spot as anyone and have a great forward pairing of Defoe (creativity and speed) and Crouch (the giraffe of the EPL).

8. Everton – If only Everton had decided to show up/not had injuries/signed Landon Donovan 6 months ago… This team is playing some of the best football in the EPL with wins over Chelsea and MUFC of late, but they dug too deep of a hole for this season to matter.

9. Fulham – Much like Everton, this team has really upped its form in the second half of the season and have gotten a lot out of guys like Damien Duff (great name) and English soccer legend Nicky Shorey (the only man ever to play in every single level of English football). Still, there is a “talent gap” between these guys and the teams above them.

10. “The Potters” – If you think teams like Green Bay and San Antonio are small market success stories, check out Stoke City. Called “The Potters” as they hail from Stoke, home to England’s pottery industry, this team has perhaps the craziest fans in the EPL and are closing in on establishing themselves as a permanent fixture in the league.

11. Birmingham City – The mid-season unbeaten streak may have been a little bit of a fluke, but who expected a team that was just promoted from the championship to be this good anyway? If Man City had known how good he would be or how good the team would be, I doubt they would have loaned Birmingham keeper Joe Hart.

12. Blackburn Rovers – Talk about “We Must Protect This House”: The Rovers are 8-2-4 at home while being 1-9-3 on the road. How is it possible that home field advantage could matter so much? It’s still the same sport they are playing…

13. “The Hammers” – After being in the relegation zone earlier in the season, it looks like West Ham is going to find a way to stay in the EPL for next year after all and be what they are: a mediocre EPL team.

14. Sunderland – Not much has gone right in the “Stadium of Light” of late (but how sick are EPL stadium names?). This team is lucky to have gotten so many goals out of Darren Bent early on in the season. They’d be in relegation mode otherwise.

15. “The Wanderers” – Of all of the really awful teams at the bottom of the EPL table, Bolton most frequently looks like the kind of side that belongs in the league.

Wigan has the league's lowest attendance... but they have this guy.

16. Wigan Athletic – As has been the case all year, it is impossible to predict the results of the EPL’s youngest club. They can score… but they surely can’t defend. That’s obvious when you look at their penchant for being blown out.

17. “Wolves” – Earlier this year, Wolverhampton didn’t play a single starter against MUFC because their manager felt they had no chance and wanted to rest up for subsequent winnable matches. As depressing of a move as that was, it may have gotten them those few extra points they need to stay in the league.

18. Hull City – It’s fun to watch Jozy Altidore develop as a player with this squad, but they are really outclassed in the EPL.

19. Burnley – After some early season surprises, this team has been abysmal for the past four months. See ya in the Championship (for soccer n00bz, that means they are being demoted).

20. Portsmouth – They showed flashes of light jumping out to a half-time lead against Stoke last week, but as they’ve done all year, the side crumbled down the stretch. Off of the field, the team is so bankrupt that it is petitioning the league to allow it to sell its players outside of the transfer window. Pompey may not exist at all next year.

And now, Hoops:

1 Seeds:

1. Kansas – The odds on favorites to win it all… These guys are about to go perfect in the Big 12, which is suddenly in the conversation for best conference in the land?

2. Syracuse – The class of the Big East. Great Coach. Experience. Know who their guys are. Strategic identity. It’s hard to argue with these guys as the 2nd best team in the land.

3. Kentucky – Dicky-V may love all the “diaper dandies”, but I just don’t trust this team. The SEC isn’t exactly tough treading, and the sports gods have to throw some wrenches at Calipari for his attrocious sports karma.

4. Duke – Sure they aren’t in 1 Seed Zone yet, but these guys have been walking all over the ACC. If they run the table, this is likely where they will end up. Last time there was no ACC team in the top line? 2003 – Wake was a 2.

2 Seeds:

5. Villanova – Most would have them as a 1 with the offensive chops that this team has, but as usual, who are their bigs? Can they play with teams that don’t let them get to the basket if they are having an off shooting night? The Jay Wright strategy has a ceiling…

6. Purdue – The only reason that these guys won’t get a #1 seed is that there is so much competition in the Big 10 and it’s hard to imagine they won’t end up with 5 losses. (1 Seed = 4 losses or less generally)

7. Ohio State – If you take away the blip in the season without Evan Turner, this team would absolutely be in the conversation for a 1 Seed. The selection committee knows that, and even if their record isn’t great, they will get a 2.

8. Kansas State – The surprise team this year… You gotta think that Frank Martin is one of the true rising coaching stars in College Hoops. He’s so intense on the sidelines and is a great interview. You gotta think that the next marquee job to open up will be his.

Little Girl... Big Sign

3 Seeds:

9. Pitt – People expected a huge dropoff for Jamie Dixon’s squad this year after losing Sam Young, Dejuan Blair, et al to the pros, but little seems to have changed in Pittsburg.

10. New Mexico – When Steve Alford left Iowa for New Mexico, you couldn’t help but think he was downgrading, but this team is 5-0 against ranked opponents and have great chemistry. I don’t care what conference they are in…

11. Vandy – Love AJ Ogilvy… Love the Commodores… but if you ever watch their home games, you have to wonder why the court has a 20 yard hardwood buffer around it on all sides? It looks like the worst venue in major college basketball.

12. West Virginia – A classic Bob Huggins team: really ugly to watch, no particularly dominant scorer, no cool defensive or offensive gimmicks, just tough physical play.

4 Seeds:

13. Georgetown – Georgetown has a lot of quality wins (Duke)… but also has a way of losing games that it shouldn’t (South Florida… Rutgers…). I just don’t trust these guys.

14. Michigan State – No matter how good or bad they look over the course of the year, it always seems like Tom Izzo’s bunch finds their way into the top quarter of the tournament field. Is this team as good as last year’s? Nah… Are they dangerous as always? Of course.

15. Texas – A lot has been made of the recent collapse of Rick Barnes’ squad, but come tournament time, would you want to face the nation’s former #1 team? Avery Bradley creating? Dexter Pittman taking up the entire painted area (when he’s not out of breath)? I’m still a believer.

16. Wisconsin – The classic “limit possessions, play good defense, make jump shots” Big 10 team. These guys could lose to any no-talent team on a given night… or dumb the game down to the extent that they could beat Kansas.

5 Seeds:

17. Gonzaga – While not as flashy or as offensively oriented as many of the Zags teams of recent memory, this team is really really big – not “Mid Major Big”, but has as much size as anybody in the country. Nova should really hope to avoid these guys in the tourney.

The "Cougarettes"... Not a particularly "Diverse" bunch.

18. Wake Forest – It’d be hard to believe that only one team in the ACC would be on one of the top 5 lines in the big dance (though it’s also hard to believe that the Pac 10 is going to be a 1 bid league). The ACC’s current best bet to prevent this: Dino Gaudio’s squad at Wake.

19. Temple – The class of the surprisingly deep Atlantic 10 that may get 5 teams into the dance, you have to love what former Penn coach Fran Dunphy has done with this program. The win over Nova is going to ensure that they get a good seed too…

20. BYU – I know that they only have 3 losses and many would put them higher up in the seeding, but this team reminds me a lot of the 2006 George Washington squad that only lost a couple times all year. Great story… but not actually a tournament threat.

Dark Horses:

Maryland – Never ever count out Gary Williams teams. When they show up, they play with more heart than anyone. Grieves Vasquez, in what seems like his 10th year of eligibility, is a really dynamic and dangerous player.

Baylor – Have to love what Scott Drew (brother of Valpo Buzzer Beater Bryce Drew) has done with this program that was death sentenced (no pun… seriously) just a few years ago. Lead by the explosive LaceDarius Dunn, this team has the athleticism to beat anyone.

TAMU – Lost in the heap of Big 12 success stories this year has been the return to prominence of the Aggies. It may have taken Mark Turgeon a couple of years, but this is a solid basketball team.

Butler – Everybody loves the Bulldogs, but they’ve sort of reached that plateau that Gonzaga faced in 2003 or so when the secret is out, and the program has to start really recruiting top flight talent to justify all of the attention that they get. The Zags did it… We’ll see if Butler can.

UCONN – Perhaps the most dangerous #10 seed that the tournament will have ever seen.

Real,

Nick