Power Rankings Frenzy: EPL and The Inaugural Hoops Poll

Huge White Rip Hamilton / Academic All-American Legend

It had been too long since the EPL rankings had been updated, and at this point in the sports calendar, College Hoops have not only taken the spotlight, but even have reached a point where you can actually figure out who’s good. It’s time for the inaugural College Hoops Rankings.

Let’s do the Soccer First:

1. Chelsea F.C. – Far from dominant in form, but 4 points clear at the top of the table… and Didier Drogba back from the African Cup.

2. The Manchester United Football Club – Wayne Rooney isn’t arguably the best player in the world right now; he IS the best player in the world right now, but the team has major defensive issues.

3. “The Gunners” – Despite the Champions League Leg 1 blooper video, they have a really easy remaining EPL schedule and are within striking distance.

4. Man City – Tied for fourth with a game in hand, you gotta think a team with this much talent is the favorite to get the 4th Champions League birth. Even the ugly 0-0 Draw with Liverpool was encouraging – the team actually played defense.

5. “Villans” – Maligned for “long balling” (playing boring soccer), you can’t help but face the facts: This team gives up less than one goal per game and features loads of dynamic and “pacey” young offensive talent.

6. Liverpool – The return of Torres and Benayoun is encouraging, but this team sort of feels like the Redskins of the EPL – some great players, some mediocre players, 0 Chemistry.

Why didn't his parents get Crouchie into Basketball?

7. “Spurs” – (Note: You can’t call them “The Spurs” apparently) A team with this much talent shouldn’t be losing to Wolves, but they are as “in the hunt” for the 4 spot as anyone and have a great forward pairing of Defoe (creativity and speed) and Crouch (the giraffe of the EPL).

8. Everton – If only Everton had decided to show up/not had injuries/signed Landon Donovan 6 months ago… This team is playing some of the best football in the EPL with wins over Chelsea and MUFC of late, but they dug too deep of a hole for this season to matter.

9. Fulham – Much like Everton, this team has really upped its form in the second half of the season and have gotten a lot out of guys like Damien Duff (great name) and English soccer legend Nicky Shorey (the only man ever to play in every single level of English football). Still, there is a “talent gap” between these guys and the teams above them.

10. “The Potters” – If you think teams like Green Bay and San Antonio are small market success stories, check out Stoke City. Called “The Potters” as they hail from Stoke, home to England’s pottery industry, this team has perhaps the craziest fans in the EPL and are closing in on establishing themselves as a permanent fixture in the league.

11. Birmingham City – The mid-season unbeaten streak may have been a little bit of a fluke, but who expected a team that was just promoted from the championship to be this good anyway? If Man City had known how good he would be or how good the team would be, I doubt they would have loaned Birmingham keeper Joe Hart.

12. Blackburn Rovers – Talk about “We Must Protect This House”: The Rovers are 8-2-4 at home while being 1-9-3 on the road. How is it possible that home field advantage could matter so much? It’s still the same sport they are playing…

13. “The Hammers” – After being in the relegation zone earlier in the season, it looks like West Ham is going to find a way to stay in the EPL for next year after all and be what they are: a mediocre EPL team.

14. Sunderland – Not much has gone right in the “Stadium of Light” of late (but how sick are EPL stadium names?). This team is lucky to have gotten so many goals out of Darren Bent early on in the season. They’d be in relegation mode otherwise.

15. “The Wanderers” – Of all of the really awful teams at the bottom of the EPL table, Bolton most frequently looks like the kind of side that belongs in the league.

Wigan has the league's lowest attendance... but they have this guy.

16. Wigan Athletic – As has been the case all year, it is impossible to predict the results of the EPL’s youngest club. They can score… but they surely can’t defend. That’s obvious when you look at their penchant for being blown out.

17. “Wolves” – Earlier this year, Wolverhampton didn’t play a single starter against MUFC because their manager felt they had no chance and wanted to rest up for subsequent winnable matches. As depressing of a move as that was, it may have gotten them those few extra points they need to stay in the league.

18. Hull City – It’s fun to watch Jozy Altidore develop as a player with this squad, but they are really outclassed in the EPL.

19. Burnley – After some early season surprises, this team has been abysmal for the past four months. See ya in the Championship (for soccer n00bz, that means they are being demoted).

20. Portsmouth – They showed flashes of light jumping out to a half-time lead against Stoke last week, but as they’ve done all year, the side crumbled down the stretch. Off of the field, the team is so bankrupt that it is petitioning the league to allow it to sell its players outside of the transfer window. Pompey may not exist at all next year.

And now, Hoops:

1 Seeds:

1. Kansas – The odds on favorites to win it all… These guys are about to go perfect in the Big 12, which is suddenly in the conversation for best conference in the land?

2. Syracuse – The class of the Big East. Great Coach. Experience. Know who their guys are. Strategic identity. It’s hard to argue with these guys as the 2nd best team in the land.

3. Kentucky – Dicky-V may love all the “diaper dandies”, but I just don’t trust this team. The SEC isn’t exactly tough treading, and the sports gods have to throw some wrenches at Calipari for his attrocious sports karma.

4. Duke – Sure they aren’t in 1 Seed Zone yet, but these guys have been walking all over the ACC. If they run the table, this is likely where they will end up. Last time there was no ACC team in the top line? 2003 – Wake was a 2.

2 Seeds:

5. Villanova – Most would have them as a 1 with the offensive chops that this team has, but as usual, who are their bigs? Can they play with teams that don’t let them get to the basket if they are having an off shooting night? The Jay Wright strategy has a ceiling…

6. Purdue – The only reason that these guys won’t get a #1 seed is that there is so much competition in the Big 10 and it’s hard to imagine they won’t end up with 5 losses. (1 Seed = 4 losses or less generally)

7. Ohio State – If you take away the blip in the season without Evan Turner, this team would absolutely be in the conversation for a 1 Seed. The selection committee knows that, and even if their record isn’t great, they will get a 2.

8. Kansas State – The surprise team this year… You gotta think that Frank Martin is one of the true rising coaching stars in College Hoops. He’s so intense on the sidelines and is a great interview. You gotta think that the next marquee job to open up will be his.

Little Girl... Big Sign

3 Seeds:

9. Pitt – People expected a huge dropoff for Jamie Dixon’s squad this year after losing Sam Young, Dejuan Blair, et al to the pros, but little seems to have changed in Pittsburg.

10. New Mexico – When Steve Alford left Iowa for New Mexico, you couldn’t help but think he was downgrading, but this team is 5-0 against ranked opponents and have great chemistry. I don’t care what conference they are in…

11. Vandy – Love AJ Ogilvy… Love the Commodores… but if you ever watch their home games, you have to wonder why the court has a 20 yard hardwood buffer around it on all sides? It looks like the worst venue in major college basketball.

12. West Virginia – A classic Bob Huggins team: really ugly to watch, no particularly dominant scorer, no cool defensive or offensive gimmicks, just tough physical play.

4 Seeds:

13. Georgetown – Georgetown has a lot of quality wins (Duke)… but also has a way of losing games that it shouldn’t (South Florida… Rutgers…). I just don’t trust these guys.

14. Michigan State – No matter how good or bad they look over the course of the year, it always seems like Tom Izzo’s bunch finds their way into the top quarter of the tournament field. Is this team as good as last year’s? Nah… Are they dangerous as always? Of course.

15. Texas – A lot has been made of the recent collapse of Rick Barnes’ squad, but come tournament time, would you want to face the nation’s former #1 team? Avery Bradley creating? Dexter Pittman taking up the entire painted area (when he’s not out of breath)? I’m still a believer.

16. Wisconsin – The classic “limit possessions, play good defense, make jump shots” Big 10 team. These guys could lose to any no-talent team on a given night… or dumb the game down to the extent that they could beat Kansas.

5 Seeds:

17. Gonzaga – While not as flashy or as offensively oriented as many of the Zags teams of recent memory, this team is really really big – not “Mid Major Big”, but has as much size as anybody in the country. Nova should really hope to avoid these guys in the tourney.

The "Cougarettes"... Not a particularly "Diverse" bunch.

18. Wake Forest – It’d be hard to believe that only one team in the ACC would be on one of the top 5 lines in the big dance (though it’s also hard to believe that the Pac 10 is going to be a 1 bid league). The ACC’s current best bet to prevent this: Dino Gaudio’s squad at Wake.

19. Temple – The class of the surprisingly deep Atlantic 10 that may get 5 teams into the dance, you have to love what former Penn coach Fran Dunphy has done with this program. The win over Nova is going to ensure that they get a good seed too…

20. BYU – I know that they only have 3 losses and many would put them higher up in the seeding, but this team reminds me a lot of the 2006 George Washington squad that only lost a couple times all year. Great story… but not actually a tournament threat.

Dark Horses:

Maryland – Never ever count out Gary Williams teams. When they show up, they play with more heart than anyone. Grieves Vasquez, in what seems like his 10th year of eligibility, is a really dynamic and dangerous player.

Baylor – Have to love what Scott Drew (brother of Valpo Buzzer Beater Bryce Drew) has done with this program that was death sentenced (no pun… seriously) just a few years ago. Lead by the explosive LaceDarius Dunn, this team has the athleticism to beat anyone.

TAMU – Lost in the heap of Big 12 success stories this year has been the return to prominence of the Aggies. It may have taken Mark Turgeon a couple of years, but this is a solid basketball team.

Butler – Everybody loves the Bulldogs, but they’ve sort of reached that plateau that Gonzaga faced in 2003 or so when the secret is out, and the program has to start really recruiting top flight talent to justify all of the attention that they get. The Zags did it… We’ll see if Butler can.

UCONN – Perhaps the most dangerous #10 seed that the tournament will have ever seen.

Real,

Nick

February 24, 2010 | nick | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

NBA Midseason Power Rankings Part 3: The Top 9

After slogging through the grody reality of teams 30-20 and the mediocrity of teams 19-10… We make it to the nine legit contenders… or five good teams with no chance and four who could actually win a title… or eight good teams and the Lakers… depending on how you see it. Let’s get back into the countdown…

Tier 3: Involved… but not that involved…

9. Phoenix – We all keep waiting for the old canadian white guy to suddenly not be good, and it seems like it’s just not going to happen any time soon. In fact, you even hear “best year of Nash’s career” arguments… and they aren’t crazy, considering that his stats are no longer padded by D’Antoni-ball (see Duhon, Chris for example) and his PER is above 23 (an increase of 4+) for the season for only the third time in his career… and he was the MVP in both of the other two seasons. The Suns seem to have recovered well from the Terry Porter… we are going to try to become the Pistons even though our personnel is meant to run and gun… thing, as well as the Shaq experiment.

Grant Hill and Wife Tamia on the Cover of "Homes of Color"... about all Grant did between 1996 and 2009?

Gentry has these guys playing a more traditional way than we got with D’Antoni, but they are still as high octane as anybody else out there… and maybe even look like a real basketball team now with a glut of legit role players. Amare has been pretty solid this year (20+ PER, legit 20 and 10 guy) but he has some pretty obvious baggage: 1) He’s a huge long-term injury risk with those knees… 2) He is a terrible defensive player 3) He doesn’t really seem like much of a character guy… maybe he’s not at the Corey Maggette “Im just tryin to get my stats” level… but when was the last time you watched Amare and really thought he was a winner like Duncan or KG? 4) His contract is expensive; he’d be hard to trade, and teams are worried about him resigning if he comes in a trade… but, he is a young 20 and 10 guy who might just learn to play solid defense by his 10th NBA season (at which point he’d only be 29?)… and he threw down a Lebron-esque 27 PER in 07-08… so maybe Cleveland will try to use him to convince “Bron Bron” to stay? (note: this is a pretty awful idea. For Lebron to win a title, he needs to be on a team with a second best player who is one of the following in descending order of impact: 1) Elite Center 2) Elite Point Guard 3) Nasty 3 Point Guy / Lockdown Defender… all of which the team has halfaseedly tried to do over the years… getting Amare does little except make for awful chemistry… his destiny clearly seems to be big stats on a terrible team… so maybe he will go to GSW where nobody will ever ask him to defend anybody?) Anyhow, the Suns also get a ton from their roleplayers. While J-Rich is just an average well-sized shooting guard at this point (he takes way too many 3s and shoots a mediocre percentage)… and maybe only has a 75 inch vert in his old age of 28, but all of these guys are shooting above 40% from behind the arc: Channing Frye, Grant Hill, Goran Dragic, Jared Dudley, and of course Nash. Channing Frye, who clearly can’t rebound or bang or do any of that, fits perfectly on this team as a jump shooting center who is a total mismatch; Grant Hill seems to be healthy (part of the odd Sportsguy mythology of the Suns having the best training staff in the world), and is who he is… a really toolsy offensive player who plays smart and hard. It’s sick to see him playing well after about a decade of surgery. My only memory of Grant previously was him telling me to “Obey My Thirst” circa 1995… followed by a lot of season ending injuries;

Back When Sprite Cans looked like that...

The Duke/Pistons eras must have happened in another world. Dragic is one of those guys who you’d expect to be terrible… and was under the NBA equivalent of the mendoza line (a PER <10) last year, but he has become a legit backup point guard. Barbosa is the oddity. He alternates between really mediocre and great every year like he’s a picture of Jessica Simpson. Last year, he was sick… the year before that… average… year before that… sick. We are on a shit year in the cycle (<15 PER for the first time since 04)… even though his on court-off court splits are actually pretty good (probably because he is usually on the court with Nash… not Dragic). He just doesn’t look like the same explosive “Brazilian Blur” guy. Best random Sun: Louis Amundson – the white dude with the pony tail that you assume is some sort of Latvian eurotrasher… but actually is from Cali and went to UNLV. Gotta love awkward white dudes… and the Suns have them at that “not overdoing it like Utah” level… but let’s be honest for a second: Are these guys gonna beat Denver, LA, and the Spurs in the playoffs? Magic 8 Ball definitely throws down a “Signs point to No” on that one.

8. Orlando – Last year’s finals team… even if they got to the finals because of Celtics injuries/total punting on the season and downright weird series against Cleveland in which Mike Brown did his best Wade Phillips immitation… legitimately had an identity.

Is this girl giving JJ the Bird? Is JJ Smiling like this is an Enzyte ad?

It was Dwight inside taking up more space than anyone else in the league does down low while their tall wing players (Lewis, Hedo, Pietrus) bombed threes and their ball handlers (Alston, Lee, Nelson) played with a ton of energy. Stan Van threw in a couple JJ Reddick (overperforming this year) and Marcin Gortat cameos… and the chemistry was great. So Courtney Lee gets way overhyped over the course of the playoffs and goes to the Nets… Hedo likewise takes the money from fellow total sucker Toronto… and the Magic bring in Vince Carter’s festering corpse to “put them over the hump”… and sign a bunch of other random veterans like the retired “White Chocolate” Williams and Dallas’ Brandon Bass… in addition to overpaying to resign Gortat… because being the 8th best European white Center in the NBA means you best be gettin that money… Zoom ahead to the Magic this year… It’s not like the team has let anybody down 36-18 at the break, and maybe Stan Van is a genius for preserving his best guys for the playoffs, but this team… even more than Portland… plays so many damn dudes every single night that it’s simply not possible for the team to have any semblance of identity. The team has no clue who its point guard is: all of that Nelson then Alston then Nelson John Kerry flip-flopping that Stan Van threw down last year definitely wacked out chemistry… Nelson hasn’t been the same player since his injury (PER in the 13s this year vs projected to be in the 18s)… and White Chocolate has been much the better distributor thus far (I can barely still call him that given how suburban he looks now… his life has pretty much mirrored Matt Lillard in SLC Punk! to a tee… his supressed wiggerdom is almost as depressing as when Birdman goes no mohawk). Side Note: If White Chocolate wins a title with the Magic to go with his title with the Heat on top of playing at UF, does he become the greatest basketball player in Florida history?… he may already be the greatest white one. Then from the 2 to the 4 on the squad, you have: Redick, Anderson (both surprisingly effective but obviously “low ceiling” guys), Pietrus, Barnes (07 Warriors takeover… so clearly “athletic but not living up to their potential”), Vinsanity (remember when he was sick and dunked over that French dude… and then retired from competitive basketball despite still playing for a decade?), and  Rashard Lewis (now steroid free… but maybe was better with Hedo around).

A Long Time Ago in A Galaxy Far Far Away...

As for their backup bigs, Gortat and Bass both get payed like 6th or 7th men… but both barely ever play and average abotu 4 points a game? I know you can’t really be mad at a team for preserving their guys for the playoffs or for “being able to do a ton of different things”… but what do the Magic do best? who is their crunch time guy? is Dwight Howard ever going to develop a multidimensional offensive game? is Stan Van Gundy going to continue to be a hilarious Ron Jeremy impersonator? is Stan Van going to continue to be so creepy/bitter in his Ron Jeremy impersonations that I can’t even enjoy the real Ron Jeremy on VH1 anymore? A lot to ponder…

7. Atlanta – After four years or so of having this core group of guys starting (Bibby/Crawford aside), it seems like the Hawks’ patience with Mike Woodson (rich man’s Mike Brown… for what that is worth) and all of their “raw athletic guys with a lot of upside” has really worked out. Al Horford has gone from an above average 10 and 10 guy to a legitimately good 10 and 10 guy (even if he’s not a center); Joe Johnson… though definitely always stinking a little bit of Michael Redd “I’m gonna just take tons of perimeter shots whether or not it actually helps my team” syndrome… has had one of his best years ever (shocking that this is a contract year… this never happens)… Jamaal Crawford has gone from being a “token average NBA guard” to suddenly crushing game winners and becoming a Jason Terry-esque 6th Man of the Year type threat… Mike Bibby has been solid as usual (but doesn’t it suddenly feel like everyone from the good Arizona 2000ish teams are suddenly really old?)… and Josh Smith is all of the sudden among the best “I get stats doing anything and everything on the court imaginable” guys… like Kirilenko was at his peak… just a total freak of nature.

Josh Smith's "Raw Athleticism" finally paying off... The guy is so athletic that I thought he must have played for Calipari and not come straight out of HS.

The only problems with this squad: no depth, no center (love Zaza, but… he belongs on Maccabi Haifa or Olympiakos), and Marvin Williams… who has not only regressed this year, but is now basically playing on the wing because he isn’t good enough inside to be a PF… even though he’s not quick enough to play outside either so. Basically, the guy is a constant reminder that the team could have had Chris Paul. Imagine CP3 and this bunch running the floor? Only if the Saints took all of the New Orleans sports karma and we get a Hornets firesale…  Still, this team has identity, talent, chemistry, and is among the most fun to watch in the league. Would I be surprised if they pull an 09 Magic and sneak in to the finals before getting clowned on by the Lakeshow? I’d say its a damn good bet.

6. San Antonio – Even for the most well run small market franchise in sports, it’s hard to win when you are keeping it together with a few old pieces of gum, some floss, and scotch tape (I’ve heard Scotch tape is an offensive racial slur… PC stuff going too far?).

Wishes he were "The Most Interesting Man in the World"...

Greg Popovich (experiments with facial hair involved) has really gone into Coach K mode… deciding that it’s just not fun to win when your players are better than the other team’s… or when you are even with the other team… but that it only really counts if you win with only dudes over 35, coming off of knee surgery, or straight out of the NBDL or Italian Serie A. The team had a rare miss with the Richard Jefferson deal (example of really old Arizona guy), but had a classic Spurs win by getting DeJuan Blair in the 2nd round (should keep a lot of minutes off of TD)… the problem is: how many guys on this squad are championship level dudes – Duncan (clearly), Parker (could start on a championship team still… but would need lots of help), Ginobli (6th man on a championship team… couldn’t be the 3rd best guy), and Blair (rotation guy). Finley is too old to be effective… the same goes for Mcdyess (this sounds like we are breaking down the 1996 draft right now)… and Mason and Hill may be token Spurs roleplayers, but don’t we all know they kind of suck? We all know that all that matters with these guys is “being healthy come playoff time”… but even so, is team the 2nd best in the West when they are firing at all cylinders? That argument gets tougher and tougher to make every year. To summarize 3 years in the NBA: The Pistons have disappeared; The Spurs have become the Pistons; The Celtics have become the Spurs; The Lakers have become the Celtics. Here’s to the cycle.

5. Dallas – YEAH WE JUST SIGNED THE LAPTOP STEALING GUY. YALL ARE F-ED NOW!!!!! THEY EVEN THREW IN THE GUY WHO WE ONLY KNOW FOR TRYING TO CALL OUT LEBRON AND THEN GETTING CLOWNED ON!! AND BRENDAN HAYWOOD – I MEAN… HE WAS ALMOST AS GOOD AS ED COTA ON THE 98 HEELS!

Haywood's Dogtags are like 2 feet long.... If that's the first thing you noticed in this picture, well...

WE HAVE TO BE WEST FAVORITES NOW! The only important part about this trade… basically swapping Josh Howard for Caron Butler (losing a little on defense and in mid-range for a better outside inside guy) in addition to getting a worthless bad contract (Stevenson)… is without question the addition of Haywood, who gives Dallas a guy to “spell Eric Dampier’s minutes” and have a 2nd legit big man (note: good teams don’t have guys “spell” Eric Dampier… good teams don’t have Eric Dampier). In theory, this team whips out a crunch time 5 of Kidd-Terry-Caron-Dirk-Haywood/Dampier or Kidd-Terry-Caron-Matrix-Dirk if they want to go small, and that’s a pretty solid crew, but that’s also the kind of team that is built to win a title in 2005 more than in 2010. Sean Marion (jersey #0… maybe the NBA should just retire “Agent Zero” league wide… it’s not cool… not a number… I just don’t get it… it’s the number you take when you want to be “that guy” but 69, 99, and 00 were taken) has not so quietly become a mediocre player given that his athleticism was really what made him good… and now he’s old… and Jason Terry has gone from being a clutch 6th man type to being a second option… which is perhaps a sign that nobody else has stepped up. At this point, the Kidd trade looks like a win given the disappearance of Devin Harris and that the old man can still play pretty good ball, but who are the backup guards on this team? JJ Barea (flukey couple of years… will be out of the league soon) and Rodrigue Beaubois… a “raw prospect” if you know what I mean. Kobe may say this is the team to beat now that they have Caron and Haywood, but that’s just the kind of modest, self-effacing talk we expect to get out of “Black Mamba”… (He’s totally full of shit).

Tier 2: If They Can Show Up in the Playoffs…

4. Boston – These guys have really gone into “all that matters is that our core guys have enough in the tank come playoff time” mode much like the Spurs have done for the past few years, but much like has always been the problem with this move for San Antonio, you have to wonder if these guys can just turn it on and have enough… The problem with this team is that the “Big 3″ just don’t dominate the action like they did when they won the title.

They let Marquis Daniels onto the Pacers?

As a viewer, a lot of Celtics games are spent being scared of how thug Marquis Daniels looks… wondering why Tony Allen is still on the team… trying to remember the name of “Landlord” Williams’ wife… or making fun of Brian Scalabrine in any way possible. Here’s the thing though: these guys have to know that their window is closed after this year and that we may get insane freakshow alien out of those Gatorade Rain commercials KG, Shuttlesworth at his most clutch (Ray Allen also was in “Harvard Man” apparently), and maybe even some big Paul Pierce performances come playoffs? Do you really think KG is going to let the Hawks take him out of his last legit shot to get a title? We’re talking about the most intense guy of the generation… a guy who gets so freaked out and crazy during games that you feel physically threatened through the TV screen. I just can’t believe they just go away like people claim they already have…

3. Denver – When the Nuggets look back on this “golden age” in ten or twenty years (this just doesn’t happen very often), they will ask themselves: “Why did we never once try to sign a starting shooting guard instead of relying on cheap crappy young guys or J.R. Smith’s indiscriminate 3 point launching off of the bench?” Denver has so many reasons to be a championship level squad: A Top 5 NBA Player at his peak (Melo), a 2nd Superstar who knows his role and plays really hard (Chauncey), really quality veteran bigs (Nene and K-Mart), a fan favorite energy guy (Birdman), a streak shooter who can win games for you (J.R. Smith), and a mismatch change of pace ball handler (Ty Lawson), but at the 2, the Nugs have been rolling with Anthony Carter/Aaron Afflalo/Joey Graham?

Billups In Highschool in Denver sometime after Fresh Prince was cool...

This team already scores a ton… why have they not tried to go out and get an elite lockdown perimeter defender type dude at the 2… like a Shane Battier? Denver’s 1-2 punch of Melo/Billups is almost on par with Kobe/Pau… and Denver has a lot of guys that match up well with the Lakers (numbers in the frontcourt to keep the Lakers bigs out of rhythm and a guy in Lawson who is a lot like Aaron Brooks… who the Lakers couldn’t guard at all last year in the playoffs)… and Denver has played the Lakers well thus far this year, but does this Denver team beat a healthy Lakers team? There’s no real reason why they can’t… but they just won’t. As great as Denver has been, don’t they seem a little “happy to be here” not sucking for the first extended period in a long time? We were all thinking it…

2. Cleveland – Remember that time Cavs fans were supposed to be psyched about that big Jamario Moon signing (black Italian fellow?)? Cleveland’s strategy of getting a “supporting cast” for Lebron has always been to claim to have solved its problems… but actually not do so much. They get names: Shaq, Ben Wallace, Wally Sczerbiak… but they’ve never actually gone out and got anybody who is both a great player at his peak… and a winner. Neither Amare or Antawn Jamison fits that bill, but Jamison at least seems like the kind of guy who could be a 4th best guy on a championship team.

The NBA: All about Family... (not guns, rap records, expiring contracts, or shoe deals)

My expectation is that Amare goes to the Cavs, and Lebron leaves anyway… allowing Amare to score 25 and 10 on an awful team for the rest of his career. As for the team this year, Lebron decided after an “energy preserving” (lazy) first month of the season to go batshit crazy out there, and he’s a lock for the MVP just because of how huge his imprint on the game is (far greater than any other player in the league). He directly affects every possession on both ends whenever he is on the court… something Kobe, Nash, DWADE, Melo, and Dirk just don’t do. I know they’ve beaten them convincingly twice this year, but tell me what favors the Cavs here: Mo Williams taking contested jumpshots when people actually play hard defense in the playoffs… Kobe going against the Cavs stellar 2 guards: Delonte West and Anthony Parker… Lebron spending half of his energy jawing with a legitimately crazy Ron Artest… Pau/Odom/Bynum making Shaq/Big Z look like real stiffs… Mike Brown vs Phil Jackson…

Bron’s destiny is to break the Clipper curse… let’s just accept it.

Tier 1: The Prohibitive Favorite

1. The Lakers – Kobe Bryant is my favorite player in the NBA (other than gimmick white guys like Birdman, AK47, Kyle Korver, and White Chocolate… who are really in a league of their own). How this happened? I have no idea.

Sure he's just trying to be cool, but it's still a damn funny picture.

He’s awkward, toolish, D-Baggish, a total cock, has movies like “Doin Work” made about him, was accused of rape a little while ago, has sex moves he refers to as “his thing”, and calls himself “Black Mamba” (one of the biggest toolbag nicknames out there… you know you’re a tool if your nickname is what you get when you ask your bro: “hey bro, what’s the most badass animal you could be named after?”)… but he has somehow become my favorite player in the entire league. Why? On some level, I think it is probably just because we have spent so much time together. I remember using him as my player in NBA Live 97 when he rocked the #8, the Show was at the Great Western Forum, and Nick Van Exel and Eddie Jones were peripherally involved.

NVE: Another DBag who had to get a title with the Spurs...

Crazy as it sounds though, it’s really about respect. The guy works so hard and really has earned everything that he has achieved. I guess I can’t help it if I want to see him lead a 2nd Lakers Dynasty and stake his claim as one the 5 Best ever… The team also has: the most “skilled” (watch and you’ll know exactly what this means – he clowns on everyone doing all the little things) big man in the game in Gasol, a young big with a huge ceiling (Bynum), an unsung Kardashian inlaw whose basketball skills are constantly being forgotten (Odom), a sneaky good young bench guy (Shannon Brown), a veteran core of awkward dudes who aren’t terrible (Farmar, Fisher), and the 100% craziest guy in the league (this is a good thing… see Rodman, Dennis) in Ron Artest. Additionally, Phil has decided to not give minutes to Luke Walton and Sasha “The Machine” Vujacic… which is good, because they are bad at basketball. Even with an injured Kobe, this team was able to absolutely maul a Utah team that had won 10 in a row and really had moves to the top of the West. Kobe will be ready to go come playoff time, and it’d be hard to believe that he would ever let one of these other 29 teams beat him four times…

But then again, did you see that whole 04 Pistons thing coming?

The NBA: Where “NBA Cares”/Thugs Make Bank/No Defense in the 1st,2nd,3rd… okay 4th Quarter/Regular Season Games that dont matter and have 20 people watching/Trades have to include salary dumps/ Amazing happens.

Football is over. It’s about time we start watching.

Word,

Nick

Related articles by Zemanta
Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

February 14, 2010 | nick | Tags: , , , | 6 Comments »

NBA Power Rankings Pt 2.

So maybe nobody predicted the Nets would be THIS bad… or that Detroit would have the chemistry of a team consisting of Ricky Davis, Darius Miles, Corey Maggette, Yi, and Starbury (just thought it’d be fun to throw Yi into the mix)… but it’s hard to say that the league’s bottom 11 are really a shock to anyone. We’d be a whole lot more surprised if the Knicks and TWolves weren’t on that list. Looking it over though: NJ,DC,MIN,IND,PHI,GSW,SAC,DET,MIL,NY,TOR… you are left with a question: Did Memphis and Charlotte fold as franchises?

Memphis' Secret or Mail Order Brides at a Theme Party?

The answer blows my mind too: They are still around (even if when you watch them on TV you feel like you are watching the losers bracket in the Maui Invitational with only the players’ moms watching)… and they are even dabbling in the realm of “good”. I swear I’m not making this stuff up.

Lets get back into the rankings.

Tier 5: On the right track… but lets be honest here…

19. New Orleans – Right before CP3s injury, it sort of felt like the Okafor-West-CP3 nucleus was getting it together and this team had potential to be a decent playoff team. At the beginning of the year and for a while after the Byron Scott firing, Okafor looked awful and West looked real washed up, but the team got chemistry back for a while. Without Paul though, this team is screwed… there’s really nothing else to say. Even if Russell Westbrook continues to be pretty good, the Paul-West combination is really what makes this team special. When West (grad of the legendary Hargrave Military Academy) was on the floor without Paul, the team was pretty terrible this year ( their worst 5 man lineups included such according to 82games.com). Without Paul, this team has nobody special… West is a 4th option on a championship team… and I’m not sure anybody else is in the starting 5 on one… barely even the bench. Marcus Thornton has randomly been okay… but he’s averaging 0.9 assists per game in the backcourt… and Darius Songaila – why is he still around? people need the Russian dude who has never had a season with an above average PER in a decade? I don’t get it. Most important though: What if Paul is a fragile dude? What if he’s always going to be banged up and just not be able to reach his potential? At least the Saints are in the Superbowl…

18. La Clippers – So they are on a losing streak, lost their #1 overall pick for the entire season,  play in the same building as the best team in the league, have a terrible organization in almost every way… but a Clippers team that looked like Davis-Gordon-Lebron-Griffin-Kaman would immediately be a title contender. I know it just seems impossible that Lebron would ever be a Clipper, but it is a perfect team for him to play with… really the best “basketball option”.

Loved Kaman in the Hills Have Eyes movies...

The team they currently field: Davis-Gordon-Rasual Butler-Camby-Kaman isn’t too bad itself (77% win percentage as a unit according to 82games.com). Sure Rasual Butler is one of those dudes who just starts because the team is so thin at the position, but Eric Gordon seems to be maturing, Baron Davis isn’t totally mailing it in, Kaman looks solid again, and Craig Smith is a good bench guy. Until the clips stop having dudes like Sebastian Telfair and Ricky Davis though… they’ll never be taken seriously… a star player  to go along with a lot of good players would help too.

17. Chicago – After a really beat start to the year, this team looks like it may be okay. They got lucky too because everybody in the East was awful for the first third of the season… so bad that being a .500 team would have gotten you the 4 seed. and a .400 team would get the 6 seed. Derrick Rose was apparently playing on a hurt ankle and kind of sucked as you’d expect, but he’s been as good as last year of late.

Wes Anderson isn't releasing a movie this month, so I'm gonna do a lot of cell phone ads...

It hurts to admit it because he’s so much fun to make fun of, but Joe Noah is having a real solid year. Suddenly, he is a 12-12 guy who is really active on the floor… just like he was in college. Luol Deng looks the best he’s been in a couple years… and Ben Gordon really was never a dependable player. Luke Wilson may even be an okay coach… who knows. Still, not much on the bench. John Salmons has gone from being flukey good to a bad contract. Brad Miller is an out of shape old white dude; Kirk Hinrich is having a down year; Tyrus Thomas is out… They are hard to read, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they shock somebody in the first round… Orlando?

16. Miami – Empirical data as well as well as interview testimony with many “ballers” has led to one indisputable conclusion, NBA dudes love playing in Miami. The fans, unfortunately, do not reciprocate the enthusiasm for the team. Nobody is ever at these games. The Heat are basically the exact opposite of the Jazz/Browns’ “happy to be involved with the team” dynamics between the players and fans. This year’s Heat team is what announcers politely refer to as “a veteran team” while thinking “these guys kinda suck”… they feel a lot like how the Wizards usually are. Dwayne Wade has been sick… but doesn’t it sort of feel as though he is destined to play in hometown Chicago (who could use a SG…The Chicago Bosh-Noah-Deng-Wade-Rose core could be a dynasty if they can pull off those trades somehow). Otherwise, Beasley has been okay… but he can’t defend. Jermaine O’Neal has been surprisingly competent, posting his first 17+ PER (15 is average for the record) year since 07. Still, this team has so many washup/draft bust guys you think there is a bigger chance you are in drug rehab or reading the CSKA Moscow basketball roster. Rafer Alston (awful this year)… Daequan Cook (terrible)… Mario Chalmers (never going to be very good)… Q-Rich (how has been in the league so long?)…

Maybe we'll throw Ashanti on the track too...

Carlos Arroyo (bad since 04)… Joel Anthony (are you kidding me? Joel Anthony is still in the league?)… and of course Heat stalwart Udonis Haslem… No way D-Wade can win with this team… but those 2010 free agents will probably be excited about the Heat (music videos with Ja Rule on yachts involved potentially)… even if the fans still won’t be.

15. Memphis – I looked at this roster and thought: Man, this is a pretty ghetto team. I then realized that they have 3 guys from UCONN (Rudy Gay + 2 total busts)… and that’s probably why I thought that. You really can’t plan on teams like this. They draft Thabeet who clearly sucks… missing out on a bunch of really talented dudes; the sign Allen Iverson because they have no fans, and this way they could at least be high profile even if they sucked…. and then… Iverson leaves… totally changing the team dynamic; Marc Gasol and Zach Randolph both have huge years… hiding the bad draft picks; Rudy Gay goes from being “promising”, to “overrated”, to “overrated but actually pretty good” again in the third year. The team is exciting. It seems like every night that we are getting Zach Randolph 25 and 18 highlights. I went and looked up the ex-Jailblazer legend’s stats and was surprised: he’s always been kind of good… he’s just now on an overachieving team and removed from his past to an extent. We shouldn’t act like this came out of nowhere. While on the out of nowhere topic: when your name is “Mark Gasol” and you are 7′1… why is everybody not trying to draft/sign you? It seems so obvious that he would be good… and yet it did come out of nowhere. In the backcourt, OJ Mayo suddenly a support player… something that his game and personality seems inherently poorly suited for… I guess I see OJ as being the best player on a bad team who might develop… kind of like Joe Johnson on the Hawks… not in a situation like this. Conley may be as big of a bust as Thabeet… and until they find a legit PG, they will still look like “The Grizz” that we are used to a lot of the time…. but despite the two blown drafts, they could be an out-of-nowhere dangerous playoff team (they really do rebound… for what that is worth). They also could be in a different city at any moment… why not another one in Miami?

Want to take a short time out to honor Taylor Swift. The “Love Story” video may even be better than “You belong with me”. The production quality perfectly splits the difference between Renaissance theme Skinamax porn and Elizabeth: The Golden Age. The people aren’t using cell-phones and in Halloween costumes, but is her flashback going on at some sort of expensive Catholic School? Is that the point?

Issue 2: The AI and McGrady Allstar Thing – So TMAC ended up not being involved because there was so much coverage about him getting votes that casual fans realized that he was entirely undeserving… and AI starting is sort of a nice way to honor the guy’s career even if most people know he’s not good anymore… but I just don’t get why Ray Allen or anybody would go out of their way to stir up controversy about deserving All Star appearances. Doesn’t everybody know that the All-Star Game is a joke anyway… and that there is no good way to really pick a team… and fans voting certainly is not an informed way to do so… but that none of that matters because it is about entertainment, and nobody watches the game seriously anyway.

Probably Will Be At The All-Star Game

It’s all just about the celebrity aspect of NBA culture: the parties, the celebrities hanging out with the players, the halftime show cameos (Usher, Alicia Keys, and Shakira already involved), Shaq’s stunts, and seeing highlights of the Dunk Contest and all the random other shit on Sportscenter or Youtube. That is the All-Star game… and I think that that’s fine. It’s a lot of fun… why would we want it to be serious? NBA guys feeling snubbed about All-Star voting is just a reflection of how selfish and in need of attention a lot of these dudes are. If the fans want AI, then they should get him… “We’re not talking about a game… we talking about practice… It’s funny to me too”.

Tier 4: Overachievers… but not making it out of Round 1.

14. Oklahoma City – Portland got a 7′0 naked 50 year old who can’t walk… Seattle got a perennial top 8 in the league guy… and then moved to OKC. I know it’s a lot of hippies (and hipsters), but how much must people in the Pacific Northwest have it in for the Thunder? That draft really traumatized an entire region of the country.

Gone from Seattle too...

I don’t think anybody expected OKC to be this competitive… and Durant needs a lot of credit, but he still has a lot to learn. For a guy who scores as much as he does, you’d wish he would have more than 3 assists per game. Just like Kobe and Lebron learned to dominate different facets of a basketball game, I expect KD to do the same in the coming years… but being “early Lebron” or “early Kobe” is a damn good thing. James Harden has been okay for a rookie, but he does look like a low-upside guy… and Thabo Sefolosha is a token not-that-good NBA 2.  Russell Westbrook (hopefully not wearing #0 because he always idolized Gil Arenas), on the other hand, looks like a legit NBA point guard… the type who could start for a title winning team down the road. The frontcourt has a issues though. A lot of people pin Jeff Green as a Danny Granger/Ron Artest/Marion type player who does a lot of different things on the court… but I just have never seen him look as good as those guys. Nenad Krstic didn’t turn out to be good; Collison is an okay guy off the bench but not much more; and Serge Ibaka is promising but years away from being dominant. It’s just hard to believe that a young team like this with so little other than it’s young star can be winning with defense and rebounding in a conference full of talented veteran squads, but that’s exactly what’s happening. Nobody wants to have to play OKC in the 6-3 matchup if the Thunder keep this up.

13. Charlotte – Even if it’s famous as a factory for NBA and NFL freak athlete types, 5′9 69 year old Larry Brown may be the most impressive alum of Hargrave Military Academy in sports. The Knicks job was clearly impossible… because this guy has found a way to turn Charlotte into the best defensive team in the league? Where is the talent? This is an unreal coaching job… Lance Harbor in the 2nd half of the district title game level coaching.

Always sort of been hot...

Gerald Wallace has gone from being an average guy looking okay on a terrible team to being an all-star. Nazr Mohammad’s PER is so laughably high (21) that I refreshed the stat-page to make sure it wasn’t a mistake (has he ever been good?). Stephen Jackson has had great energy; Ray Felton has gone from being pretty beat to replacing Jamal Crawford as the “most average point guard in the NBA” for conversations like “how good would Dallas be if they replaced Kidd with an average point guard… like Ray Felton or something”. Boris Diaw looks better too. This team is getting contributions from everyone (except Tyson Chandler… but who cares?). Is this a bad matchup for Boston or Orlando in round one? Not if you look at the roster… but it’s not the craziest idea out there… not “The Blindside” winning Best Picture crazy.

12. Houston – If you had told Houston GM Daryl Morey before the season that his team was going to be a “rich man’s Charlotte”, he probably wouldn’t have been psyched about the whole thing.

Chase Budinger dressed up as Brian Scalabrine...

Houston is a pretty freakish statistical anomale. They are a bad shooting, rebounding,  and assisting team. They are poor offensively and average on defense. In fact, Houston’s only positive attribute is that they limit turnovers… but somehow, they are a winning team. Usually, saying a team “plays hard” is a euphemism for “kinda blows”… but this team plays so hard that they are actually a good team as a result. Houston seems to catch its opponents on off nights… or have one average guy get hot and exploit it to the max… or frustrate their opponents with the defense and pesky play… and just sort of pull games out. Aaron Brooks is not a great point guard, but he takes over games on occasion. Guys like Ariza, Scola, and Landry seem similarly capable… even Chase Buddinger contributes… and how white is that dude? With the TMAC contract and Yao coming back, this team has a lot of different ways it could improve. Bosh goes home? Turn a couple of the veterans/overachievers into a solid backcourt scorer? A lot going on in Houston.

11. Portland – The Trailblazers may have more talented players than any other team in the league, but with so many guys and a lineup that changes so often, it is sort of hard to pin Portland down to a specific identity. That may be a good thing at times – you can’t be figured out… but that also means that you don’t have a way of playing that you know you can use to dominate opponents. The Oden injury hurt the team a lot, but the Pryzbilla injury may have even been more important (his stats were always better). ‘Dre Miller has had a surprisingly solid year… and a surprisingly solid career. I think Baron Davis gets a lot more credit than Millery… but they are probably actually about the same career-wise. Steve Blake (my favorite “how did that dude turn out to be okay in the NBA” guy) is having a kind of beat year, but the team is holding up well without a center and even having Juwan Howard back involved, but what do they ultimately do with Webster/Batum/Fernandez/Bayless/Outlaw… only one of whom can start when Roy is healthy?

Notice anything?

Portland should flip those guys into a star… and potentially plan as though Greg Oden will never develop. The Blazers aren’t about to get free agents, but they have so much to offer in a trade… Chris Paul?

10. Utah – The statistical mirror image of the Rockets, Utah is the best assisting team in the league and near the top in shooting and rebounding. Likewise, their only flaw is that they turn the ball over a lot. Jerry Sloan, as always, has gotten the most out of his team. These guys play almost like it’s college… spreading the ball around the offensive zone. When Deron Williams and Boozer are healthy and Kirilenko is playing at his best, this team is a threat to make a deep playoff run, and that seems to be the case right now. Still, Paul Milsap isn’t the same guy he was last year, and Mehmet Okur is basically a beat-ass Big Z at this point…  The backup centers aren’t really there either. The hole at the 5 is nowhere near as gaping as that at the 2 though… Ronnie Brewer just doesn’t seem very good… I have no clue where Wesley Matthews came from… and they traded Eric Maynor when they looked like they were going to suck – which may have been a bad call. Utah’s ace in the hole though: The Knicks’ lottery pick.

“I hear you. It’s funny to me too”

Real,

Nick

February 2, 2010 | nick | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

NBA Power Rankings Part 1+Podcast W/ Rico

Sure the sun is in their eyes, but the red head?

Sure the sun is in their eyes, but the red head? Still, we missed the NBA.

If you’ve been watching 5+ NBA games a week so far this season… well here’s to you. You probably missed the entire NFL playoffs, the BCS, the Golden Globes, Tiger Woods, the Papa Johns.com Bowl, Little Caesars Pizza Pizza Bowl, Avatar, the Victoria’s Secret fashion show, Scott Brown, and Jersey Shore…. you messed up. I know when the NBA season really is: April-June – when the playoffs take 3 months and are exciting every night. Still, the sport has apparently been going on for about 40some games now, and I thought we should take a look at the “State of the Association” while we have a break for the Pro Bowl.

I present to you: part 1 of my 3 part NBA Power Rankings/Season Update… Ft 2 podcasts.

For last week’s Lakers-Cavs game, I sat down with NBA expert Rico Bautista and just talked hoops for an hour or so – the result was a great podcast breaking down the league. We get into almost every team, the commercials, the stars, the rookies… all of it. Cameos are made by assorted members of the Yale SAE chapter – it was a lot of fun. Podcast can be downloaded here: http://nickcoman.com/riconba.m4a

As always, you can subscribe here: http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=345209516

Or Stream here:

I hope yall enjoy it… but without further delay – the NBA Power Rankings…

Tier 8: When You become a Kiki Vandeweghe reclamation project…

Miss You Keith Van Horn

Miss You Keith Van Horn

30. New Jersey – Situations like this really beg the question: How did shit hit the fan so damn quickly? Can a team actually miss Vince Carter? Devin Harris gave Nets fans a lot of reason to believe that they had totally hosed the Mavs in the Kidd deal last year, but not so much this time around. Brook Lopez puts up solid front-court stats, but does he actually make the team better? Courtney Lee looked like a solid rotation guy last year in the playoffs… but that suddenly looks like a REAL long time ago; Yi Jianlian… is somewhere between Nikoloz Tskitishvili and a real NBA player… probably turning out to be a little closer Tskitishvili “not only did I ruin a draft for your team, but my vowels and consonants are in inexplicable order” zone, but hey, they didn’t draft him. Still, it’s at least unclear whether or not Terrence Williams was a waste of a lottery pick, and it’s not like Richard Jefferson is still good anyway. Every time I see this team, the first thing I think is… “wow, I didn’t think Chris Douglas-Roberts was gonna make it in the league”. Then, I realize he hasn’t…. he’s just on New Jersey.

Tier 7: Not Really Sure What “The Plan” Is…

Agent Zero

Agent Zero

29. Washington – So let’s just pretend the whole Arenas thing never happened… you have a team featuring: a) a selfish scorer who makes your team worse 4 out of 5 nights (Hibachi) b) an old journeyman forward who’s just rotation guy on a championship contender (Jamison) c) the laptop stealing guy who shoots 29% from behind the arc (and still shoots) and has more turnovers than assists (Caron Butler) d) a dude who can only be described as “the poor man’s if Dirk and Birdman had a lovechild”  (Mike Miller) e) an  “in case 1 Member of the Guthridge era Tar Heels wasn’t enough” guy who is competent… but certainly not good (Haywood) f) the biggest “I look like I skipped my AA meeting between selling used cars and coming to this game” coach in the NBA (Flip Saunders) g) The 5′5 dude who isn’t Nate Robinson and was out of the league recently (Boykins) h) but look at it this way, at least they have Randy Foye?

Even if they can somehow start from scratch without the Arenas contract, that’ll be exactly what they are doing… starting from scratch.

28. Minnesota – The record is really really bad, and the whole… drafting two point guards – one of which we could never sign if we hadn’t alienated him… thing is perhaps even worse, especially considering what you see if you look at this team’s lineup: a promising young scoring PG in Flynn, a dominant young center in Jefferson, a toolsy 4/5 guy in Love (verdict still out – may be too unathletic/caucasian to be useful), two decent bench guys in Sessions and Gomes… and next to nothing at the 2 and the 3. They may have been “pretty sick in college” (on teams with guys who were “way sicker”), but Ellington and [wikipedia]Corey Brewer just don’t look like NBA players, even given how much Brewer seems to have improved. It’s just hard to win when you lack… the guys whose explicit job it is to score and defend scorers, but if they find a swingman, they will suddenly be competitive… and finish around 10th in the west.

McRoberts at his peak... at Carmel HS in Indiana - also Sebastian's Alma Mater.

McRoberts at his peak... at Carmel HS in Indiana - also Sebastian's Alma Mater.

27. Indiana – While the Jazz have figured out how to both have a coincidentally “whiter than Iceland” roster that their fans can “vibe” with, Indiana has just indiscriminately sought out white people for the simple end of pretending the Artest / Captain Jack / Jermaine O’Neal era didn’t happen. I mean… this team went out of its way to draft Tyler Hansbrough, sign Josh McRoberts and Travis Diener… MCROBERTS and TRAVIS DIENER. You gotta say though: if I had told you when they got drafted that Dunleavy and Troy Murphy would have long NBA careers.. . only partially being “token 3 pointer white guys”… I doubt you would have believed me. As for Granger, it sort of feels like a Sharif Abdur-Rahim good stats on a beat-ass team type situation more than him actually being capable of being the best guy on a good team. Basically, he’d be a great 3rd guy on a championship team… so maybe he’s more valuable to a good team than to Indiana, since he only raises the team’s ceiling as an alpha dog to… not the worst in the league… level. Trade?

Before he even heard people want you to make your teammates better by practicing...

Before he even heard people want you to make your teammates better by practicing...

26. Philadelphia – I’m not really sure what happened. For the last two years, this team of guys who cant shoot to save their lives had some chemistry and were at least  a mediocre-plus playoff team. They were one of those teams that you knew nothing about except: “Yeah, real athletic”… The difference between athletic rookies who can’t shoot and athletic 3rd year guys who can’t shoot though is that it’s a lot harder to be optimistic. Is Igoudala going to make it in the league when he is 27 and a little slower? What does Thaddeus Young actually do well? Why is Marreese Speights‘ P.E.R. so high? It’s higher than Garnett’s, Ray Rondo’s, and Joe Johnson’s… but how? He’s a 10 and 5 guy…  The team definitely lacks identity… other than being the AI farewell tour while GM Ed Stefanski figures out a plan. AI may put a few people in the seats while the team is bad, but where is this going? Drafting Jrue Holiday was predictably unsuccessful as he was clearly one of those “really hyped out of high-school but never really showed one thing he was great at in college” guys… so yeah, hopefully they’ll find something next time to get the fans excited… and not trade for a burnt out expensive power forward every three years.

25. Golden State – The Warriors are what they are, and they don’t apologize for it or hide it. The problem is, when “what you are” is the “what happens when a team actually has no coach”, you end up being in the lottery every year like clockwork. The players get what they want though: if you consider all the guys who have been on the roster this year, they have 9 dudes who average double figures. Realistically, they have 6 who are on the team and play, but that’s insane for a team that wins between 1/4 and 1/3 of their games. Maybe everyone gets theirs on this team, but they give up 111 ppg – for every game they hold a team to 90 points (a solid night for an NBA team), they give up 132 in another one. That’s 66 dunks or 44 3 pointers. Even if Monta is the perfect guy for the system and they have “a lot of pieces” almost to the extent of being a homeless man’s Portland, GSW needs to totally reinvent itself philosophically (get rid of Don Nelson) if they are ever going to be more than “the shitty team that makes Sportscenter”.

This is an actual NBA coach - not an alcoholic but whimsically genius burnout coach from a sports comedy...

This is an actual NBA coach - not an alcoholic but whimsically genius burnout coach from a sports comedy...

Issue 1: The Kobe Vs Lebron Debate Update – The first quarter of the season saw Lebron seemingly “going through the motions” as if he was going to hibernate til the playoffs before trying to put up 50,12, and 12 in every single postseason game while Kobe and the Lakers played 80% of their games at home. You couldn’t get much of a sense of anything. Quarter Two, though, saw not-so-subtle shifts. Kobe got banged up and has looked as though he is adjusting his game for his [wikipedia]Brett Favre old man body more than ever before… which has meant hitting game winner after game winner. Lebron has decided to in fact go full speed, and now he’s playing the most dominant regular season basketball that he ever has played. He also has beaten Kobe twice. Still, the debate is what it always has been… the classic “Winner vs Dominant Player” thing. Even with as much as he does for his team (18.4 estimated wins added to his team – that’s more wins than about 1/3 of the teams in the league) and the knowledge that current Kobe couldn’t carry Cleveland like Lebron can, you equally wonder if the Lakers are as good if they have Lebron and not Kobe. Does Lebron make others better? (I feel sort of gross suggesting that Kobe does, but I think it’s true). There is no doubt Lebron is the MVP and the “most dominant player”, but come playoffs, I expect Kobe to do what he does: win. You tell me what is really “most valuable”.

Tier 6: I see where this is going, but Really?

A New Role Model for kids in JCC Rec Leagues Everywhere

A New Role Model for kids in JCC Rec Leagues Everywhere

24. Sacramento – Very quietly, Sacramento has without a doubt compiled the whitest team in the NBA. We’ll get to Tyreke Evans in a second, but first… consider this: their other black guys who start – named “Kevin Martin” and “Jason Thompson“… can’t get any more token white. The team even features the entire University of Washington 07-08 era front court with Spencer Hawes and [wikipedia]Jonathan Brockman (both basically stiffs)… and then there is their international crew of Nocioni, Udrith, and “Basketball Zohan” Omri Casspi. The team clearly lacks the talent of a contending NBA team… it’s not a much different team from the one that was the worst in the league last year… but up until their recent 7 game losing streak, you’d watch these guys and think “they are playing their asses off”. Tyreke Evans is an explosive player with tons of energy… an even “rawer” Derek Rose… but as is always true for guards without jump shots, he needs to learn how to contribute to his team without trying to force scoring. Kevin Martin has declined as a player for the past three years in terms of PER despite being a young dude… and you have to wonder if he is their future at the 2. Casspi has AK47 potential – playing great technical basketball at the 3 and filling up stat sheets… and the team has more good role players than many playoff squads, but their frontcourt is really bad. Still, they are maybe 1-2 pieces away from being a real team again… which is progress.

23. Detroit – Talent wise… Detroit can’t really be this bad can they? What happened to the squad that made all those Eastern Conference Championship Serieses? GM Joe Dumars basically guessed wrong on what he had… As role players during the good years, Rodney Stuckey, Jason Maxiell, and particularly [wikipedia]Tayshaun Prince were efficient role-players who helped their team win without having to carry it. Prince simply got old and declined without being replaced… but it seems Dumars thought Maxiell and Stuckey were really the future of the team, when clearly those two guys just aren’t that good. Additionally, Billups to Denver thoroughly answered the: was Hamilton or Billups the player more responsible for the Pistons’ success… question. Chauncey is still lighting it up, while Rip is… well at least they signed Ben Gordon and Chaz Villenueva to form a full on “ex-UCONN overpayed dudes” support group… I know Ben Gordon is streaky and capable of taking over games and doing what he did in that Bulls-Celtics round 1 series last year, but he’s also clearly one of those… not making your team better… guys. The Pistons really messed up by bringing in those guys… particularly considering the whole “2010 free agents” thing. And yes, Darko still haunts them. Enjoy the Ben Wallace farewell tour guys…

Darko looking like Anne Heche at her most lesbian.

Darko looking like Anne Heche at her most lesbian.

22. Milwaukee – No matter what has happened in between the 55 point game and now, there’s no two ways about it: Milwaukee won the draft. Jennings is a dynamic scoring point guard who is learning to pick his shots and to defend. He already gets steals, has a pretty good AST/TO ratio, and doesn’t shoot terrible percentages. He needs to put on weight… do all those things you do as you become a 2nd or 3rd year NBA player, but he is a legitimate future star.  Milwaukee also managed to find some “Ersan Ilyasova” character in the 2nd round too… and he is being a productive player for them as well. Other than Jennings, this year has seen both Michael Redd and Andrew Bogut take major leaps for the Bucks. It’s official: we know Michael Redd can’t play at all anymore – I wasn’t sure I’d seen him since he was on the bench for Team USA in China, but his stats have really tanked. Bogut, on the other hand, has become a very good NBA Center… definitely a top 10 big with his PER jumping to the 19.5 range this year. Milwaukee, though, needs another scorer to complement Jennings… and just more talent in general, but they really have a future, and I think Scott Skiles is a good coach who the Bulls were idiots to replace with “poor man’s Luke Wilson“.

21. New York – As bad as the Knicks are, imagine how much worse they would be if they hadn’t managed to find an undersized white-guy center who was actually good? Without David Lee, this team is without a doubt worse than their ugly cousin in New Jersey. It’s definitely true that the Knicks’ home court has become more of a showcase for opposing stars/future 2010 free agents than actual advantage for NY, but that doesn’t excuse losing at home by 50 like they did to Dallas last Sunday. In terms of what they have: Chris Duhon is an average-minus PG who makes few mistakes and is made better by D’antoni-ball… maybe the kind of PG that can win a title if the other four guys on the floor are great players. Danilo Galinari is a great shooter… and perhaps even a little more dynamic than that… but if they want to find a way to make cap room for 2010, he and Lee are really their only “assets” anybody will want. Jared Jeffries has turned into a shitty Duke PF like Shavlik Randolph… takes a lot of charges… but does literally zero else. Al Harrington fits in well on this mediocre team – he has the opportunity to put up numbers… but we all know he is one of “those guys” (think Ricky Davis). I’m not sure how this team pulls the magic trick and lands superstars given their current situation, but if Boston could do it three years ago, why not?

20. Toronto – I don’t want to start grudges with the fans up in Canada, but why did the NBA put a team in Canada? Can you close your eyes and imagine “intense Toronto playoff atmosphere“? I just wonder if it’s possible, or if we should move them to Brooklyn too? As much as people have made of Lebron going to NYC or elsewhere, at least people entertain the idea of him staying in Cleveland. Who has ever said “yeah, I think Bosh may actually stay in Toronto – the guy really loves the fan-base and wants to retire a Raptor”? In fact, who has ever said that about any good player in Toronto. This team really is limited to finding guys in the draft or guys willing to play in Canada, so it’s hard to imagine them ever winning a title. This year, despite falling into the obvious “Hedo had a great post-season, lets overpay him” trap, they have at least found relative success with great frontcourt play. Bosh has been the best he has ever been… doing well to convince people he’s not just the best guy on a bad team… but actually a dominant player. Andrea Bargnani has perhaps shown the biggest jump – actually being an “above average player” in terms of PER for the first time in his career this year. Maybe he isn’t ever going to be “another Dirk”, but he’s starting to make it seem like that’s a possibility. Remember: Dirk sucked at first too. Elsewhere on this team, Jared Jack has been playing pretty well; Jose Calderon not so much… Marco Belinelli may become a good “3s and Fts guy” in the rotation… and Demar Derozan is another one of those Jordan Hill/Jrue Holiday “I have a big name but don’t do one thing exceptionally” guys who will be a draft bust. Still, this is the kind of roster that gets 8 Seeds in the NBA… Well done guys.

Teams 19-10 plus Issue 2 In Part 2…

Word,

Nick

January 25, 2010 | nick | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments »
 
 
Easy AdSense by Unreal